SB: A thought about dissent and civil discussion

[Strawnet@aol.com]

Lately there have been some really interesting discussions on these 
listserves that have demonstrated something which I think is critically 
important.  Some have demonstrated it as positive examples and some as 
negative.  (Einstein said that the best way to teach is by example, if 
one can't help it, by warning example).  My father was one of those 
people who valued incredibly deeply his right to argue fully and 
passionately for his position on issues.  And he valued even more, the 
importance of separating the issue from the person or people with whom he 
was arguing.  He would not end an argumentative discussion without an 
offer to go and get a cup or coffee or a drink because he never wanted an 
argument to threaten his relationships with people. 

We seem to be losing, as a culture, the ability to disagree intensely, 
passionately, without turning the person with whom we disagree into an 
enemy.  And this seems really critical to me.  Unless we develop and 
practice this art, this ability to disagree and argue with passion while 
holding the person with whom we are arguing in high esteem (or at least 
the same esteem as before the argument...:->) we find ourselves with a 
choice that I never want to make - either deciding not to speak our truth 
fully and powerfully or fearing that we will lose or damage a 
relationship we value.  Either of those options is a tremendous loss in 
my view and so it becomes clear that this is something we must learn to 
do.  And that means being civil; not attacking, not demeaning, not 
ridiculing the person with whom we have a disagreement.  When we can do 
that, we gain the ability be true to our convictions, to our principles 
and values.  And we lose the fear that we will jeopardize our friendships 
or relationships because we may not see eye to eye on everything. 

It seems quite clear to me that this is at the heart of what has 
differentiated both the strawbale and the greenbuilding listserves over 
the years from so many others.  This has been the dominant mode for these 
lists and it is why we love them and find it so extremely painful and 
infuriating when people operate outside those boundaries.  And it is also 
why some of us, at least those who tolerate (or in many cases instigate) 
those off-topic discussions, find the level of intelligence and integrity 
that often emerges from them so inspiring and useful.  For me, this is 
the highest expression of civic and civil discourse and especially so 
because these lists are about exploring and doing good work, often in the 
much larger context of making a world that works for everyone and 
forever.  

The quality of some of the messages that I have gotten, both on and off 
list to my recent posts about Wendell Berry are exemplary exchanges with 
people on this level.  I love it!  And though I lurk much more than I 
contribute these days, this is what has kept me coming back here and 
reading these things for years.  Thank you all for continually 
demonstrating what is possible every day.

David

David Eisenberg
Director
Development Center for Appropriate Technology
P.O. Box 27513
Tucson, Arizona 85726-7513 USA
(520) 624-6628
(520) 798-3701 Fax
David@dcat.net
strawnet@aol.com (direct personal e-mail)
www.dcat.net

The future is not out there in front of us, but inside us. - Joanna Macy


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